Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
