So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
