I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The adults are the big ones right?
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