I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
