Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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