Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My penis needs a shock collar
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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