He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
