got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She's the barista slut.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
