He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
