I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
