You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just had sex bonerless
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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