so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
