i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The uberlube is also flammable
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
