I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
