really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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