dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You can't motorboat a personality
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
