Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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