i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
