Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
