So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
