The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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