What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
