I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
