Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
