Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
