My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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