She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
