Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
