so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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