I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
