She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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