I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
