it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize