Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
