Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
