Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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