I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
