Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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