billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
