Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
