Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize