okay pat passed out under dana's car
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
