it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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