I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
