I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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