so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
