Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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