So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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