I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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