if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
